I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
So vagazzling was a success
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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