wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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