he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Randomize
