Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize