Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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