that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
