He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
