You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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