I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Randomize
