just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
