you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
