I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
