Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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