no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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