Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
