Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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