sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
