we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
