I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
