So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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