Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
