Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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