I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
you win again, gameday.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
