...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Randomize
