Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
