Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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