I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
