What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
