hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
