I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
