I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
