What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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