The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Randomize
