i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
