think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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