What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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