We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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