Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Randomize
