Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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