Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
