no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
