the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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