James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
