Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
