he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
