Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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