Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
