It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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