She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
