my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Panties = found
Randomize
