The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
