4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
