Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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