so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
