How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
