i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
not ubering you a puppy
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