:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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