what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
she woke up with a sticky ear
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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