I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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