sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
